The Beast

For those that have been following Mommy Humper, you may have noticed a significant slow down in activity. Daddy posted Mommy's personal water status last Friday. As of last Friday, Mommy had mixed emotions about everyone knowing about her water flow. Since last Friday, Mommy has lost any remaining shred of prudeness and decency as she succumbed to sharing her breasts with the world. 

Here's the stats. Baby joined the world on 12/28 at 3:32 PM. She was a beast - weighing in at 9 pounds 7 ounces and 20 inches long. All parties involved wondered how such a big baby came from such dwarfish parents. We can't explain it. We just accept it. The delivery process was a little different than planned. In fact, Ms. Baby wasn't having anything to do with our plans. We started laboring on Friday and our doctors finally pulled her out on Sunday. Baby thought Mommy's house was perfect except for the door which was too small to exit. She came via Caesarean. Daddy nearly passed out but managed to keep it together enough to tell Baby her first stories.

The last week has been one big blur. Grandma entered the scene on Monday morning to help out at the hospital. Mommy and Daddy, realizing that they don't know what the heck they are doing, have taken Grandma prisoner and will not let her leave the house except to get a change of clothing. Grandma is suffering Stockholm Syndrome and now likes her captors, particularly Baby. Grandma and Daddy have been wonderful helping Mommy recover and trying to make her triple type A personality rest. Sometimes they have to yell at her. Mommy is trying not to feel like The Boobs. With Daddy and Grandma's help, Mommy showered and even put on some makeup this morning to feel human again. 

That's it for now. Thanks for all your well wishes.

With love,

Mommy